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The first kit (Dubshop) you've linked to uses a Hall effect sensor. If you're connecting that to the magnetic input on the ECU, that's the problem.

The second kit (VWSpeedShop) uses a Marelli magnetic sensor.

Make sure you have the wiring the correct way around.

hi,
the wheel is magnetic, so it can't be alu.

So changed the following,
a single 5v and sensor ground for the crank signal (9 and 21 pin). Pulled the mag wires out of the connector (pin12)
regaped the sensor.
and now I have crank signal! Don't really now what changed but it seen to work.

I now have this image:

Looks good to go.